Wedding Invitations: Bridal Cliffs Notes

Read all about it! Due to multiple requests from 2012 brides, we’re pleased to present you with our own special “Cliffs Notes” version of the how, when and where of wedding invitations. We’ve kept things simple so you can pinpoint exactly how to perform the traditional tasks of choosing, addressing and mailing your wedding invitations.

These easy basics are all the steps you’ll need — you take things from there for your own special touch.

1. What are the basic elements of a wedding invitation?

The basics are just that: basics. You will need your first and last name, your fiance’s first and last name, the date, time and location of the wedding, the time and location of the reception and RSVP information as well as a postage-paid envelope. Once you have these details, current wedding etiquette is very flexible.

Include your parents’ names if you wish, but it’s not an etiquette must-do; it’s entirely up to you. You can also list the groom’s parent’s names; the bride’s parents don’t always do the “giving away” in today’s weddings.

Add a favorite quote if you’d like; keep it simple. Make the greeting as formal or informal as you’d like (“.. and .. request the honor of your presence at” or “..and..would love you to join them as they celebrate their love at…”, for example).

2. We want our parents listed on the invitation, but they’re both divorced and remarried. How do we do this? How do I acknowledge everyone on the invitation?

You can certainly include stepparents on your invitation. “Mr. and Mrs. (your father and stepmother) and Mrs. (your non-remarried mother) request your presence at…” is not at all awkward and is very commonplace on today’s wedding invitations.

3. How should we choose a wedding invitation? We have no idea where to start.

What’s your vision for your wedding? Is it upbeat and casually celebratory? Black tie and Bach? Free-spirited, modern or vintage? There are two things to consider when choosing your wedding invitations: the formality of the event, and your and your groom’s personalities. Obviously, the more formal the event, the more traditional and formal the layout you’ll want for your invitations.

As with the basic elements question above, the style requirements of your invitation lean toward individuality and flexibility. We’ve seen very stylized invites that were an absolute dream. Invitations that match the time of year or the wedding theme are also adorable — ocean scenes for a beach wedding, for instance. So are images of your heritage, or memento images of how or when you and your fiance met. Consider all your options before buying. There’s a world of options out there!

4. How do we mention on the invitation that in lieu of gifts, we’d like guests to donate to a specific charity?

You don’t. Mentioning gifts — even on behalf of a charitable organization — still isn’t within wedding etiquette. Create a fun wedding site for you and hubs-to-be and mention the charity there. You can also spread the word by mouth and by e-mail. But leave this request off your wedding invitations.

5. Can I use my professional title on the invitations?

Most commonly, the title this question refers to is “Dr.” You may use your title if you are a medical doctor but not an academic one, according to wedding etiquette. You can also list your parents’ titles along with their names.

6. How far in advance of the wedding should I send the invitations?

You should send paper invitations in the mail 6-8 weeks before the wedding. However, if you wish to give a heads-up to guests — for instance, if it will be a destination wedding and/or guests will need to make travel/stay arrangements — you can post the information up to 6 months in advance of the wedding on your wedding website.

Or consider Save the Date cards. These too can be sent well in advance of the wedding and are great for guests to have so they can make their preparations in plenty of time.

7. If I’m sending Save the Date cards, do I have to also send an invitation in the mail?

Yup. Save the date cards, magnets, etc. are a courtesy to your guests and spread the word perhaps a bit earlier than you formally need to. They can also serve as keepsakes. They don’t replace a paper invitation, however. Do send both; this can be quite economical if you do your homework. We hope we’ve pointed you in the right direction. Have fun with the choosing process, then mail your invites on time and the rest is, well, a piece of (wedding) cake.

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